Chapter 4
SEX EDUCATION GOD’S FORMULA
Our western society seems especially crippled in this thing of critical un-preparedness, sexually. We have come to expect that the act of marriage automatically teaches the couple to know all that’s needed in order for them to be the sexual ministry they are called to be. But the terrifying statistics declare otherwise. The reason the cake didn’t turn out right was because the recipe wasn’t followed. GOD’S FORMULA FOLLOWED GETS GOD’S RESULTS!
The Good Lord gave a plan of sex education that has not been followed. A part of it is found in Titus 2:4 where the more mature women are to train the younger women how “to love their husbands, to love their children.” Do you know where this principle is being followed? In other countries, where the women are known and appreciated for their sexual skill, this plan is followed where the young women are trained by the more mature women. Yet, most people have skipped over that verse. We can visualize a little old lady going up to a younger lady, pinching her cheek, waving a bony finger in front of her face and saying, “Now Deane, love your husband.” Then little old lady walks away thinking that she has fulfilled this Scripture. She has not.
The ideal is for the fathers to give instructions to their sons, and for the mothers to give instructions to their daughters, little by little, continuing up to and even following the marriage of the children.
If this is not done, and even if it has been done, there are to be specifically chosen women, who are mature themselves, and are successful sexual ministries themselves, that the pastor commissions to counsel with the “less mature women” and train them to be a successful sexual ministry to their husband.
So many ministers today think that they are adequately preparing the bride for her love ministry by simply having her say “I do” before they ride off into the sunrise of married bliss, and that’s all. One man told us that her “I do” is all she needs! We disagree. We know a marriage in which the wife experienced intense agony at every intercourse for years, even after childbirth, because of the psychosomatic pain resulting from agony she experienced as a virgin on her honeymoon because first attempts at intercourse were tried without the use of a lubricant. And there are many examples where couples have experienced years and years of frustration and pain and agony because no one had taught them adequately, even the basic things.
On the other hand, in some of the churches where we have pastored, we have chosen especially mature, wise, hand picked women to fulfill this ministry of training the less mature married (or about to be), wives and mothers. What great success! These special women who counsel are trained in these principles by foundational ministries and their wives. These women, in turn, train the less mature or less experienced women, who ministers to, and even “trains” her own husband. (Each spouse must be taught to learn from the other, without their own ego being threatened!) This lady teacher, first of all, has her own act together as a skilled, aggressive, creative, anointed sexual ministry to her own husband. We have seen these women share only two or three out of fifty or more of these kingdom principles when tears would begin running down the cheeks of those being trained to love their husbands. “Where have I been all of my married life?” she asks, as the realization dawns upon her that she had not graduated from kindergarten, sexually speaking, though perhaps married for many years.
INTERCOURSE or INEXTRICABLE INTERMINGLING
Some years ago, while ministering at a church, a young man came up and asked, “Could you break my bonds?” I said, “What do you mean?” He said, “Y’know, my physical bonds.” He said, “Well, me
and my girl friend, we been sorta like messin’ around y’know.” I said, “You mean you and she have been having intercourse?” He said, “Yeah, I mean - right, and now I’d like for you to break my bonds.” I thought for a minute, and then replied, “I’ll tell you what
Bring me a half a glass of water, and a half glass of milk. If you can pour them together and then separate them back to their original unmixed condition, I’ll ‘break your bonds’ “.
2 (or) 3 POINTS OF VIEW
The play boy says, “It’s like shaking hands. That’s all there is to it. Afterwards, each goes their separate way, and that’s it.” And the prostitute’s attitude is not much different from this viewpoint — “Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, ‘I have done no wickedness.”’ Proverbs 30:20.
But GOD’S POINT OF VIEW IS WHAT COUNTS, no matter how far-fetched it seems to be, and as you might expect, it is different from the playboy or the mouth wiping prostitute. God says that when people have sexual intercourse, they become totally inextricably intermingled; body, soul and spirit. This would be similar to the pouring of two containers of liquid together in such a way that one can never un-mix them, (inextricable intermingling).
It is our understanding that the Hebrew word for “rib” can also be equally translated “side”. With this in mind, consider the following selection from Genesis 2. “But for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs (or sides), and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib (or side), which the Lord God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man.’
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (or nature). And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” (verses 20b-25).
We have a theory, that we of course don’t teach as fact, but as a possibility. There is the possibility that the original Adam that God created was so perfect, that Adam had the ability to reproduce without the need for an outside entity, that is being bi-sexually reproductive, (not in a homosexual sense, but in the sense of its ability to reproduce all by itself). But there was still a problem with loneliness, being able to fellowship only with himself, so God put Adam to sleep and took out of him his “female side”, closed up his side and made a new creation called a woman, giving her a distinct body, personality, mind and soul. (Please don’t scold me for having a theory. Please don’t feel threatened. I’m not saying this is a fact.) But
this next part is not theory; it is a fact that when they came together again sexually that they became totally one once again; body, soul, and spirit!
The Apostle Paul says something interesting here, (doesn’t he always). “Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body. Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid. What? Know ye not that he which is joined to a harlot is one body? ‘For two’, saith He, ‘shall be one flesh (or nature).’ But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What?
Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” I Cor.6:13b, 14-20.
What we are talking about now is fact, not theory. God is saying here that intercourse sexually is like taking a glass of water and a glass of milk, or whatever, and pouring the two back and forth until they become totally blended, or inextricably intermingled. It’s not like “wiping your mouth”, and it definitely ain’t like shaking hands or clinking glasses! Can you see some of the implications here?
For example, a young virgin who is young, beautiful and innocent could be compared with a beautiful crystal chalice with pure water. But she commits fornication, that is, she has intercourse sexually with someone she is not married to. Let’s say that the fellow involved is a playboy whoremonger.
At the time of this particular intercourse, a terrifying and hideous thing takes place that causes a total and inextricable intermingling of their bodies, souls, personalities, and spirits. It would be like inextricably intermingling a glass of water with a cesspool of urine, coffee, slime, vomit, milk, or blood. Can you see why God is against your having sex with anything other than your spouse? And if she commits adultery or fornication with someone else, the inextricable mix simply gets passed along. Could this phenomenon be a partial explanation why there is so much suicide, mental anguish, schizophrenia, split, dual and multiple personality problems among young high school and college men and women???
But there is a solution to the problem!!! Jesus Christ the Lord of The Universe came to earth to take the penalty and punishment for our sin, so as to provide for our total cleansing, purification, forgiveness, restoration, and renewal! He did this by dying on the cross and “taking the rap” for us! But this forgiveness is not ours unless we accept it and appropriate it for our selves. We do this by simply opening the door of our lives wide to God and personally inviting Jesus Christ the Creator King of All the Universe to come in like He promises to do in Revelation 3:20. He says, “Look, I’m standing at the door of your life, and I’m knocking. If you will open the door of your life wide to Me and invite Me to come in to take over completely, I will !!!!!!” But when you invite God to come in to your life, Jesus is not interested in coming in as your guest or as a roomer. He wants to come in as your Lord and Master and God. And when He comes in, He makes you perfectly new, and alive, and vibrant and clean and virginal and forgiven. (I John 1:9). A beautiful crystal clear chalice of the purest most wonderful water of life overflowing!!! That’s what you become!!!
To complicate the problem still more, suppose the girl mentioned above, comes to the Lord Jesus Christ, becomes one nature with God, is made crystal clear and pure, reads her Bible, walks with God, sings in the choir and then gets seduced by whoremonger- playboy? If she allows herself to have sex with this guy, it would be like forcing Christ Jesus her Life, to be raped!!! Hold on here. You hold on. And look at the above quotation taken directly from Scripture!:
“Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? NEVER!!!” (I Corinthians 6:15, NIV)
DANGER - QUARANTINE!!!
The contamination becomes so hideously- terrifyingly-nauseatingly critical, that the Apostle Paul says that if you know of a brother or sister in the church body of Christ that is a practicing adulterer or fornicator, that is, any one who is having sex with what they are not married to, that we are NOT EVEN to be WITH that person, or to fellowship or eat or worship with such a person. Furthermore, we are to set such a person outside the church until there is a witness of full and complete turning away from that hideous kind of sinning!. That person will not only have to repent and turn away from the sin, but must also have a deliverance imparted to them in a miracle greater than the miraculous separation of two inextricably intermingled cups of liquid!!! The Lord says this in I Corinthians, chapters 5 and 6, and specifically 5:11 b & d, “You are NOT TO ASSOCIATE WITH any person who is known as a brother and yet is immoral ... or a railer or a drunkard with such a person you must NOT BREAK BREAD.” And verse 1 3b, “Therefore, put away from among yourselves those wicked persons.” The Lord makes it very clear here that He is talking about “Christians”, and not unbelievers.
GOD AIN’T RELIGIOUS OR LEGALISTICALLY MEAN
We’ll talk more about legalism, but can you see the love of God in these things? God here is not just giving us a bunch of “no-no-s just to be mean. He wants for His people to be healthy, clean and uncontaminated, crystal clear, white and pure. God really does have our best interest ia mind! His command to not associate with a so-called brother or sister in Christ who is involved in fornication or drunkenness, etc., is for our own protection! God is concerned that we do not become hideously contaminated with the “typhoid Mary” kind of contamination, that one becomes contaminated with, when they have sex with what they are not married to, or in coming under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.
DRUGS AND THEIR EFFECT ON
The Greek word for witchcraft in the Bible is “pharmakia”, from which we get our words like pharmacy, pharmacist, pharmaceutical, etc. The worship of satan, devils and witchcraft has almost always been accompanied by the use of drugs. Drugs are used because of their effect on the human spirit When one ingests drugs, there takes place a disintegration of the natural protective cover or outer protective layer of the human soul. This allows free access to that person’s inner being for the negative spirit realm, thus allowing access to oppression, obsession and possession by demons and evil spirits. The disintegration of that protective covering is similar to the effect of hot water being poured on a thin sheet of ice or wax, or acid being poured on a thin sheet of metal.
This is also similar to the effect of fire on the human skin. We are told that the real problem in a burn accident is not so much the burn itself, but the destruction of the natural protective layer of the skin, which allows access for the free invasion of germs and contamination.
Sometimes the “pink elephants”, goblins and monsters that had been considered hallucinations have actually been very real and factual things that have not been present or visible before the ingestion of the drug(s). For example, the bar scene from “Star Wars” pictured a room full of monsters and awful looking creatures and was a pretty good description of the way many bars actually look, if one could “see in the spirit realm.
To illustrate, if a so-called “Christian” takes these drugs, a terrifying thing takes place - because Christ is living within - and the door is thrown open for evil spirits to enter in and to negatively affect. Because of our unity in the body of Christ, we are easily blessed or cursed by that which exists in our brother or sister in Christ. God doesn’t want His dear children to be contaminated by “typhoid disease contaminators”, and thus He gives instructions for our immunity by putting the source of contamination IN ISOLATION UNDER QUARANTINE, until the problem is solved. Can you see the incredible implications of this?
demons ARE WHERE THEY ARE?
Now, some few may argue that “Christians can’t be possessed by evil spirits”, but to be perfectly pragmatically practical, devils live where they live and a blessed doctrine won’t make a blessed bit of difference to them, except to let them keep on doing their damndest, undercover.
Others reason that while the Lord may be inhabiting a person’s spirit, demons may be oppressing. obsessing, or possessing a person’s mind, soul, heart or body.
Can you see how we must NOT let some humanistic doctrine get in the way of getting rid of the enemy’s oppression? Let’s take a practical approach and send the demons to the pit in the Mighty Name of Jesus!!! These evil spirits MUST GO when there is: 1. Total repentance - a complete once and for all turning away from all sin. 2. Prayer for deliverance by those in the body of Christ who~ have authority from God, who, with the word of authority in Jesus’ Name, cast
them into the abyss. (Here we recommend the book by Bill Barr from Oconto Ministries entitled
Counseling With Confidence). Please also see our last chapter, “Counseling For Counselors”.
THE POSITIVE SIDE – SYNERGISM
But so much for the unpleasant aspects. God really has some beautiful things in mind in commanding us to sexual purity! The Bible talks about the synergistically positive effect two people (who are one in Christ-in the union of marriage) can have in the Kingdom of God!!! “Synergism” is defined by Webster as the “cooperative action of discrete agencies such that the total effect is greater than the sum of the effects taken independently.” In other words, one may have two different chemicals that aren’t much in themselves alone, but when combined may have incredible and powerful results. So it is also for two people who are one in Christ in the sexual bond in marriage. There takes place the inextricable intermingling synergistically of soul and spirit that produces unbelievably positive results for the Kingdom of God!!! The Bible tells us how should “one chase a thousand, and two put ten thousand to flight” (Deut.32:30.) Jesus said, “Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of My Father which is in heaven.” (Matt.18:19).
REVIEW — CHAPTER 4
- What is God’s formula for sex education?
- What is meant by “inextricable intermingling”?
- The Hebrew word for ‘rib’ can also be equally translated
- The Bible says, “Shall I take the members of Christ and make them members of a
5. If someone came up to you and’ asked how they could be “born again”, what would you tell them? (Describe, how to be born again.)
- Approximately how many years have you been “born again”?
- What does God say in I Corinthians that we must do in our relating to a brother or sister in Christ if they are practicing drunkenness, immorality or
- Why did God give us laws governing our morality?
- What is the Greek word for sorcery or witchcraft?
‘10. Why the need for “deliverance” in the body of Christ?
- What is meant by Synergism?
- How can this be used to advantage in marriage?
- Can you quote or paraphrase a verse that talks about synergism?
- Can you name seven advantages to being married?