Introduction
Copyright © 1987 by John Roy Bohlen
P.O. Box 7123, Minneapolis, Minnesota, 55407 United States of America
All rights reserved. No part of this book, (except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review), may be reproduced in any form without receiving permission from the author or his associates.
Printed in the United States of America.
Library of Congress Catalogue Card Number 87-071520 ISBN 0-9607702-2-4
Published by, for and in behalf of the Kingdom of God.
Representatives may be contacted at: GREAT COMMISSION MINISTRIES
P.O. Box 7123
Minneapolis, Minnesota, 55407, U.S.A.
Destiny Image Publishers
P.O. Box 351
Shippensburg, PA 17257
(717) 532-3040
The majority of the art in this book was done by the Lord through the loving life of Becky Meyers. Becky and her husband Kenny, live in McCook, Nebraska.
Thank you Becky.
Artwork taken from How To Rule The World was done by Chris Wold Dyrud
DANGER THIS BOOK MAY NOT BE FOR YOU! If you are not teachable, or if you are a child, or have not been awakened sexually - PLEASE DO NOT READ
THIS BOOK!!! This book is specifically intended for those who are presently involved with sex or marriage, or are about to be, and for those who are or who will be counselling in the area of sex and marriage. This book is more dangerous than dynamite for those so warned above. If you are in the “swainine” category mentioned in Matthew 7:6, that is - arrogant, critical, legalistic, unteachable, know it all, unwilling to change or learn, please just forget about it. You are just taking up space. Or else REPENT, so that God can use you. If Jesus Himself could not satisfy the people in the presence of their a critical spirits and unbelieving hearts, when “He could do NO mighty works because of their unbelief’, it is unlikely that I will be able to impress you either, if you are critical, like they were. This book is for those who don’t know all there is to know about sex, yet.
For that matter, we don’t either. But isn’t it fun to learn?
To those of you who are thus qualified to read and learn and enjoy—-Here’s to WONDERFUL SEX!!!!!!
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS & DEDICATION
First of all, I want to thank the Creator King of all
the Universe, Jesus Christ, Who reigns over all things and Who will reign forever and forever!!! I thank You Father God at all times and for every thing and in every circumstance!!!
In addition, I hereby do thank my fabulous girl- friend and thank also, my lover. They are one in the same...my wife! Thank you Karen for loving me, for staying with me. You were free to leave, you know. You still are. Because, I want you to know in your heart, that if you have stayed by me and the children, it is because you freely and willingly chose and choose to do so. I did not win your heart through intimidation. And I know that I cannot, nor would I want to, keep you, through intimidation. But thank you for loving me, and staying — during that time long ago when I tried to intimidate you, and when at last I succeeded. Oh darling, please forgive me, for when I found you, you were like a beautiful Scandinavian goddess on the mountains wild and free, pure and beautiful!! When you moved, the fire would come out from under your feet. Now, you are beautiful once again, though for a while, long ago, I had succeeded in crippling, yes, even killing, your, spirit. But that was over a decade ago, and in a far off land. But now, you are beautiful again, and you move with the wind, and the fire has truly returned.
My darling children, thank you also! God’s young man Joey, Joseph my first born, 5~taller than my 6’l ‘~, called to be a mighty man of God in the land, going forth to slay giants and dragons. Son, I’m so proud of you!
Kari Ruth, lady-saint and precious one, full of life and joy, may your heart always be happy, and your spirit always be sweet! I know that this will be, as you abide in Christ! We appreciate you!
Dawn Joy, the joy of God’s heart in the dawn of His new day -may your voice be hear4 and your songs of praise be sung around the world, and beyond... We really respect you! Joshua, my precious prize winner for praise! - The happy troubadour! - May we always hear your godly worship. And God grant that you be as tall as Joey and as strong in Spirit! Stay humble! to my mother Ruth (Sonnie) Vena Waters Bohlen Hussman, the greatest contralto in the world, and the greatest mommy! I cannot remember your ever having committed one sin, although you may have.
Thank you for loving my dad and thank you for loving my Heavenly Father. And to you Edward for marrying my mother after my father died...Go on and fulfill an apostolic ministry, both of you.
To all who have interceded for us and for the ministry of Christ through us - Audrey, Karen and other unsung heroes: Thank You!!! We’ll rejoice at your greater reward on The Day soon coming!
Thanks again to David Turnidge and family for your sacrifice. You are a computer genius, and precious in God!
Thank you Robin Hansen, Denise Fleury, Beverly Hale, and especially, David and Cindy Purifoy, the St. Benedicts and each of you for your assistance at the computers, your sense of humor and sweet spirit has been an encouragement!
Thank you, Frank Mauer, Paul Was, John Mc Ginnitys, David Thompsons, Al, Kerry & Denise Smith, Audrey, the Carpenters, Rundles, Savageaus, Ferris, Wolfbauers, Betty Webster, Ron Green, Fogartys, Shackeltons, Taylors, Paul Hegstrom, Larry & Georgia Hayes & boys, George Kramers, Agnes, Darrell & Susie Pughs, the Stoekels, Dr. Bob Smith, Bethel College, Bethany Fellowship, Louis L’Amour, the Garborgs, John, 700 Club-Love Lines, my brother Michael Bohlen and Sandy, Fleurys,
Souehls, Julie Duerr, Bob Hanson, David Ophaug, the lovely Robert Benedicts, Doug and Ginny Johnson, Kevin Pound, Roy Lucas, the Gary Dodge family, L.D., Ruth Stapleton, Noel Garzia, Beverly Hale,
Beverly Jorgenson, Ralph Spezio, Bistlines, Grinsteads, Gene & Francis Walker family the Bob Carlins,
Kathy Higgins, Maloneys, Mel Baileys, Son of Righteousness Ministries, Lady St Josephine, Alan Langstaff, St’s Cameron & Anna Simmons, Sid Roth,
Wells & Sandy, Josh , the Andy Wright family and to each of you, our friends, who are friends, and who have proved that friendship time after time. We thank God for you!!!
Pastor Chuck and Judy Dodge, thank you!!! Thanks to a team of people who have prayed for us and who have contributed financially to the ministry. Thanks to all of you everywhere who love us and whom we love!
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
John Roy Bohlen also has written a book on the most important thing in life, called HOW TO RULE THE WORLD or SEEK YE 1st THE KINGDOM OF
GOD. It is strongly recommended that you read that book if possible. It can be ordered from the address given on the back cover. John received a B.A. from Bethel College in St Paul in 1961 with a degree in philosophy and psychology. John married Karen after their graduation from Bethany Fellowship Training Center in 1964. He has worked as a farmer, bridge construction worker, shoe repairman, inventory counter, cook-ware salesman, counselor, bus driver, concrete construction worker, roofer, probation officer, custodian, real estate salesman, fiberglass gunrunner, husband, father, evangelist,teacher, founder of churches pastor, pastor to pastors and servant. John was a probation officer for Los Angeles County for 6 years, pioneered and pastored several city churches and has been counseling for more than twenty years. He and Karen and their four children, Joey, Kari, Dawn Joy and Joshua, have traveled extensively, singing and leading conferences and seminars on The Great Commission, Marriage and the Family, Church Growth and Renewal, Discipleship
-Leadership Training, and Life Priorities.
Karen Wold Bohlen, John’s wife AND lover, has been a pastor’s wife, a deaconess and prophetess, an officer in Women’s Aglow, and has been a counsellor and speaker in the area of marriage and the family. She holds a degree as a Registered X-ray Technician, and also graduated from Bethany Fellowship in 1964. Their four children were all born “naturally”, with John assisting as part of the birth team. Karen has assisted in other births as well, and has giventraining on prepared child birth, nursing, nutrition, parenting and the woman’s ministry as a wife, lover and mother.
The main Author, Jesus Christ, the Creator King of All the Universe has some fabulous things to say here as well. After all, He created sex, and created it to be wonderful, so He has been given space here also. (Satan can forget about asking for equal time. To hell with him - he’s already had his say.)
Won’t it be fun to discover the joyful adventures God wants to give us as we learn more about this aspect of His glorious creation?!!!
SEXUAL MINISTRY—QUESTIONNAIRE
INSTRUCTIONS & EXPLANATIONS:
Please do not put your name on this.
Here are some of the reasons for this anonymous questionnaire: 1. To help you; 2. To help others; & 3. To help us; do at least the following things:
- learn teaching technique
- develop increased openness
- discover problem areas
- improve your sexual ministry!!!!!
-
Hero’s the reason we do not want you to sign this questionnaire. We want you to feel totally free to answer these questions without embarrassment, fear of discovery, or shame. You may remain totally anonymous; in fact, we prefer that this be so, in order that you may have greater liberty in your answering.
Please answer these questions to the best of your ability, without shame. If you have a question, please feel free to ask for assistance. We are also available to counsel with you about your deepest need or most secret problem. We have been successful in God in helping dear ones with condemnation, fears and “hang ups” from the past.
Take your time with these questions, and let this be a “fun” adventure.
- Are you married?
- What is the purpose(s) or reason(s) for sex?
- Do you think that sex is sinful?
- Is there a difference between lust and temptation?
- Do you think that masturbation is always wrong?
- If, suddenly, your spouse was injured in such a way as to make sex impossible between you, would you stay married?
- Do you think that there are any circumstances where divorce is justified?
- Do you think there are any circumstances where abortion is justified?
- Do you think that a person is ever justified for getting a wrong attitude or wrong spirit?
- Is one ever excused for holding a grudge, or bitterness or resentment toward anyone about anything?
- Are you aware of any resentment or bitterness, within yourself, toward anyone?
- Do you believe that oral sex is wrong?
- Do you think That it is possible to keep from sinning?
- Are you willing to do anything God would tell you to?
- If someone came up to you and asked how to be born again, what would you tell them? (explain how to be born again.)
- Please guesstimate your spiritual temperature, on a scale between 0-100. 100= razor-sharp and white-hot for God; 50 = luke-warm; 0 — sinful, undedicated and cold.)
- How long have you been born again?
- Have you ever read the Bible all the way through, without skipping any parts??? If so, about how many times?
- Do you have any problems too deep or personal to tell anyone? Is there anything we can do to help?
- Would you like or do you need confidential counseling about any thing?
- Please list 7 things in order of importance in your
- Please list 5 of the most important things that Christ took of yours with Him to the cross.
- Please describe how you mostly learned about sex. (For example: parents, school library, friends, etc.)
- Would you say that your first experiences with sex were pleasant, painful, terrifying or what?
- Do you enjoy sex? (remember, this questionnaire is secret.)
- If you are married, how often do you have intercourse?
- How often would you like to have intercourse?
- Estimate how often your mate would like to have intercourse?
- How long have you been married?
- Are you male or female?
- Do you carry a sense of guilt about sexual things?
- What percentage of your sexual needs are being met by your spouse?
- What percentage of your emotional needs are being met by your mate?
- Where did sex come from?
- Do you agree with the following statement? “The only ingredient necessary to make any relationship work, is mutual and total commitment to the will of God.”
- Do you have any bitterness or un forgiveness toward your spouse?
- Do you think you have need for inner healing from past hurts?
- Compared to all that you think you should know about sex, what percentage do you think you know?
- What percent do you think your spouse knows? (in comparison to what should be known).
- What percent do you think the average Christian husband, or wife knows?
- Do you believe that intimidation is ever justified?
- At what age do you remember experiencing your first orgasm?
- Do you think it is sinful for a married couple to take a bath or shower together?
- List as many words as you can to describe how you think God intends sex to be.
- What percentage of non-Christian couples would you say have sexual hang-ups?
- Answer the above as pertaining to Christian couples?
- Does your spouse have sexual hang-ups? What are they?
- Do you have any sexual hang-ups? What are they?
- If you had it to do all over again, would you choose your present mate above any other?
- Do you love your spouse?
- Was there a time when you loved each other more?
- Make a list of things you would like to see changed about your mate.
- In your marriage, what percentage of the problems are your mate’s fault?
- When you are “making love”, approximately what percentage of the time do you achieve an orgasm?
- Do you know about the “G-spot”?
- Do you know about kegal exercises?
PREFACE
THE PURPOSE OF THIS BOOK
Actual case histories reflect some of the following needs:
-A wife experienced years of intense agony at every intercourse because of the painful trauma she experienced at first attempts at intercourse on their honeymoon as virgins because they didn’t know about K-Y.
-A husband frustrates his wife for years because he was taught that intercourse is only for having babies, not for pleasure, hence no pleasure for her.
-A husband is too ignorant (or something) to keep his body clean, or even brush his teeth, then wonders why he’s a turn off.
-A wife doesn’t invite her unclean husband to take a bath with her because she thinks it would be sinful.
-A Christian mother of four, after 25 years of marriage still thought she sinned every time she had intercourse, because she thought all sex was sinful.
-Two wives, typical of many women married for years, still had never experienced an orgasm because neither they nor their husbands had ever learned about them.
-Two husbands, typical of many, have a problem with premature ejaculation and leave their wives unsatisfied and frustrated. They don’t know that this problem has some practical solutions.
-A marriage breaks up because one of them “falls out of love”.
-A particular wife, one of many, has not graduated from kindergarten, sexually, has almost no vision, and very little appreciation, awareness, understanding, insight or revelation of her ministry or calling. As a result - her husband suffers, the family suffers, the ministry suffers, and without realizing the connection,
— SHE suffers.
-One husband, (this often happens), had a poor relationship with his father. His father did not demonstrate love for his son. Consequently, the son grew up and came into marriage as an “emotional cripple”!
-A wife was abused by her father, and is crippled sexually and emotionally, because she has not been healed, yet.
-A wife is unhappy because she thinks she “has to be submissive” to her husband. (He doesn’t know that TO THE EXTENT THAT A RELATIONSHIP IS BASED ON INTIMIDATION, IT IS NOT BASED ON LOVE.)
-One couple thinks that they know just about all there is to know about sex, when they haven’t even graduated from sexual kindergarten yet.
We are personally acquainted with all of the above and countless other situations where these and a multitude of other unnecessary problems persist because they simply haven’t been taught a better way. The purpose of this book is to meet the need of millions of couples that would like to know more, or need to know more, about sex, and to get rid of the hang ups and unwanted ghosts and other intruders into their sexual adventures.
This is a wonderful task, and in order to do it, we are going to need God’s help if the hang ups and ghosts are to go. “When my wife and I make love,
God turns His back,” one man said. Then his counselor replied, “What an awful thing to say about God, and what a negative thing to say about your wife.” Let’s face it folks. God created sex. God created sex to be:
Enjoyable, wonderful, happy, incredible, Glorious, delightful satisfying! Intense, fantastic; creative, uplifting Comforting fantastic; relaxing! Exquisite, fabulous, super, healing, Beautiful, delightful, exhilarating!
Encouraging, special, creative, good, Sensational, terrific; invigorating, Effervescent; happy, guilt-free, fun, Lovely, super, Fulfilling!
Adventuresome; fabulous& precious, memorable; Planned, spontaneous; refreshing, Euphoric; abandoned, unabashed, unrestrained, Frequent, ablaze; abounding’
Aglow, tasty, accessible; accordant; Accumbent, unselfish, stimulating!
Arousing erotic, sexual, sensual, Interesting, innovative, edifying! Respectful, affirming, rapturous affecting, Uninhibited pleasurable; climaxing!
ETCETERA, ETCETERA, ETCETERA!!!
On the other hand, the Bible says that the devil came to “steal, kill and destroy .2 That means that the devil came to mess up and uglify sex. He is the source of condemnation, hang ups, venereal disease, anxiety, aids, brutality, perversion, rape, hatred, jealousy, resentment, divorce, bitterness, suspicion, unfaithfulness, heartache, selfishness, loneliness, frigidity, impotence and inhibition.
In this book, we do not intend to give pious platitudes or to avoid important issues. We will talk about masturbation, x-rated materials, birth control, abortion, divorce, homosexuality, oral sex, women’s rights, sexual positions, guilt, and so on. We are resolved to not be irreligious, sacrilegious, “religious”, (in the phony sense), or legalistic. Of course, we believe that it is good to be genuinely spiritual as opposed to being religious in an artificial way.
First, let’s ask the Lord’s help, (since He created sex), and then let’s get into it. O.K.?
Lord God and Heavenly Father - Creator King of Everything Lord of all the Universe, in the Mighty Name Of Jesus Christ, we ask for Your help and aid Help us to know where we need help. Please give us open and teachable and humble hearts. Help us to hear what You want to say to us. Help us to lay aside preconceived ideas and hang-ups that are not of You. After all Lord You created sex in the first place. So help us, now
In Jesus’ Name Amen.’
There is an interesting verse from the Bible, aren’t they all, words of Jesus found in John chapter 10:9 & 10. “I am the Door: by Me if any man enter in, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might may have Life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”
Perhaps you are wondering why we are quoting Scripture. It is because God created sex! He knows more about sex than anyone. Therefore we believe that He should be consulted.
INTRODUCTION - WONDERFUL SEX!!!
Isn’t sex wonderful?! No? Well, at least God thinks so. God created sex, you know. Didn’t He do a wonderful job!? Bible says that God only does wonderful things.(a) It also says that He does all things well! (b)Oh, I know satan, the snake that he is, has come to “steal, kill and destroy” (c) and in the area of sex,satan has sure stolen, killed and destroyed. But Christ came to destroy the works of satan and Christ Jesus has commissioned us to destroy satan’s works also, as co-laborers together with Christ.
We have been involved in a counseling ministry to People for nearly two decades in the capacity of Pastor, probation officer; conference and seminar leader, teaching on discipleship training, church growth and renewal, evangelism, marriage and the family. We have come to the conclusion that of all God’s creatures, human beings are sexually the most mixed up, and that of the human race, it seems that Christians have the most unscriptural hang-ups, (the non-Christians have at least one major hang up: their major hang up is that they have not invited Jesus Christ within to be their Saviour, Lord and Life). But it is amazing how very many ‘dedicated’ Christians seem to REALLY have sexual difficulties and problems. Based on our observation and counseling, we have concluded that well over 90% of the Christian couples we have counseled with have serious sexual hang-ups or misconceptions. We believe that just the opposite should be the case, and that TO THE EXTENT THAT A COUPLE IS DE- VOTED TO CHRIST, THEY SHOULD BE THE MOST CREATIVE AND FREE AND LOVING AND INTENSE AND PLEASURED AND SKILLED IN THEIR SEXUAL EXPERIENCE.
That’s the reason for this book. In your eyes, the eyes of your spouse and in the eyes of a loving Heavenly Father, WONDERFUL SEX, FOR YOU!!!
GOD CREATED SEX !!!
Did you know that God created sex? “So God created man in His Own image, in the image of God created He him; MALE AND FEMALE CREATED HE THEM. AND GOD BLESSED THEM, AND GOD SAID UNTO THEM, ‘BE FRUITFUL, AND
MULTIPLY, AND REPLENISH THE EARTH...”’
(d) “And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, IT WAS VERY GQO1X” (e) Did you know that the Bible mentions some form of intercourse more than 40 times in the first 40 chapters?!!!.
God created sex! He invented it! He’s the authority on the subject! “And the rib [or side], which the Lord God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man.” (I) “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” (g)
Remember, GOD CREATED SEX, AND HE ONLY DOETH WONDROUS THINGS!!!
Sex and that which is directly and indirectly related to sex, is discussed many thousands of places in the Bible. Details are not spared, instructions are given, facet and facts are shared, and in such a way as to make it perfectly clear that sex is a fact of life!!!
Whole chapters are devoted to the subject. In fact, we encourage you to read through the entire Bible and make a note in the margin of the Bible every place that it talks about sex. As we mentioned, before chapter 40 of Genesis, intercourse has been referred to some 43 times! One whole Book of the Bible is devoted to sexual things, (and the having of babies is not mentioned in that book). In this portion of God’s love letter to us, sexual things are described as being EXQUISITELY WONDERFUL!!!
Scriptural Footnotes
- Psalms 72:18 (e). Genesis 1:31
- Mark 7:37 (0. Genesis 2:22
- John 10:10 (g). Genesis2:24&25
- Genesis 1:28