10. WARNING - XXX !!!

Chapter 10

WARNING - XXX !!!

Could we respectfully recommend that you read a book that we have written called, The Cult (of Cannibals? The reason for this will soon be evident. But here’s a hint. The material in this chapter is so controversial, that we would like for you to be able to handle this controversy in a manner pleasing to God.

HOW TO KNOW RIGHT FROM WRONG

It is extremely important to know the difference between “condemnation” and “conviction”. God says in Romans 8, that, “There is therefore now NO CONDEMNATION to them which are in Christ Jesus...” and in Titus 1:15, “Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure...”. Paul also said a number of times, that all things were lawful for him, but that all. things were not expedient.

Conviction is a sweet drawing of the Holy Spirit and the Heart of God about some matter where we have stepped outside of God’s circle. Condemnation, on the other hand, is a heavy trip that the devil or others or our own mind wants to lay on us that has no connection with Scripture or the will of God whatsoever!

Take just a minute to draw a circle, at least in your mind. Let this circle represent the prescribed boundary of the will of God as it relates to sex, or generally. Legalism, religion and condemnation happen when people try to make the circle smaller than God’s circle. Licentious license and sinful liberty happen when people try to make the circle larger than God’s circle. Most people have a circle that is partly in, but mostly out of, the prescribed boundary of God’s will.

There are many Scriptures that indicate that it is not difficult to walk with God IF one is really serious about walking with God!

“A little child shall lead them.” (Isa.l 1:6.) “My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Mat. 11:29,30). “Except a person become as a little child, he cannot enter into the Kingdom of God.” (Mat.18:2-5; Mk. 10: 15).

You see, Dear One, God would not make it so difficult that it would be impossible to please Him! “There has NO temptation taken you, but such as is common to man, but GOD IS FAITHFUL! He will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but, will, with the temptation, make a way for you to escape, that you may be able to bear it” I Cor.10:13.(jb) Even the little child can do it! Even a retarded person, even one who has become senile -God is faithful! He has made it possible for us to gloriously succeed it~ our walk with him! Paul said of his own life: “I have run a’ gooood. race I have finished my course! The blood of no man is’ on my hands. Hence forth is laid up for me a crown of righteousness that no man can take .“ (II Tim.4 jb)

“I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST...”! “IN ALL THESE THINGS-MORE THAN CONQUERORS!” “THERE HAS NO TEMPTA- TION TAKEN ME!!!!!’ (SEE THE CHAPTER - “THE KING’S GREATEST SECRET!”)

There are those who not only “feel guilty” about every thing all the time, but are not content until they make every one else feel guilty as well! They have people going to hell for spitting on the sidewalk or for stepping on the crack! One theologian was convinced that there will be babies a foot long in hell, because they didn’t get sprinkled with a dab of “holy water”!

Believe me, water by the hands-full or by the tank-full will save no man from hell but only asking Jesus Christ to come and live within and be Lord throughout all of life! (Mat.7:21; 24:esp.13; 25:esp.46, etc.)

Some may wonder why we are talking’ about this, here, but, before God, we have counseled with people who have many kinds of distorted views about sexual things. For example, we know some that think that “every act ~f sex is sinful” or that being naked in front of their spouse is “sinful”, or that making love on the kitchen table (or under it) is “sinful”, or that having intercourse in the shower, or outside, or in the car, or three times a day, or in front of a mirror is “sinful”.

They think that these things are sinful, Sinful, SINFUL - NOT because God says they are is sinful (HE DOESN’T!), but because of spastic and negative programming from sources OTHER THAN God or His Word!

We would like for you to take inventory of the things that you think are sinful. Make your own list of “hang ups”. Please pause and make a list.

Have you completed your list?

Now, compare your list with God’s list! Can you find in the Bible any place that “it” is called sin?

The Lord’s “list” of sexual sins is very short:

• “Thou shalt not commit adultery”. (mentally or otherwise).
• “Do not lust after someone with whom you are not married”.
• “Abstain from fornication”. Remember, the dictionary defines fornication as “intercourse with a person not married”. Some folks like to expand their own personal pet little definition of fornication to include their own special private list of hang-ups. Often they will do this to sadistically put other people under condemnation or to justify divorcing someone on a “humbug” pretense. Their spastic reasoning goes something like this: “Let’s see now, the Bible says God don’t like divorce ‘cept for fornication, and I’d like to have an excuse for trading my old spouse in for a new one, so I’ll expand MY pet little definition of fornication to include masturbation, (or whatever), so now I can feel good about getting a ” Can you see how spastically sinful THIS attitude is? Well, it is. They say, “Let’s see now, what else can we add to God’s special “List of sexual ‘NO-no’s”’ hmmm.” Please keep in mind the illustration about these circles representing: 1) The circle indicating all of these things that are within the prescribed boundary of the will of God. 2) The circle of things that you think are within the prescribed boundary of things included in the will of God. Remember, MOST PEOPLE DO NOT HAVE THE SAME STANDARD OF BEHAVIOR FOR THEMSELVES AS GOD DOES. That is, most people’s behavior circles aren’t the same as God’s. Their circle is either larger than God’s, smaller than God’s, or, to whatever extent, other than God’s.

THE PLEDGE

We encourage you to make and take the following pledge that we have put together. We encourage you to come back to it often, and say this pledge in each other’s presence, and before God. You can easily include some of these in a wedding ceremony, or all of them in a private but equally binding exchange of vows in the presence of the Most High God, and as you renew your vows to each other on special occasions, such as Valentine’s Day, New Year’s flay, Wedding Anniversaries, times of flew dedication in the Lord~ etc:

PRIVATE & PERSONAL VOWS FOR THE MARRIED COUPLE

 

1.1 am determined before God to be faithful to you, my spouse, in heart, body and mind. I will not allow myself to focus on, or fantasize about another, in your place.

2. I will keep my body clean for
3. I will not withhold myself sexually or emotionally from you.
4. My body is for you alone, in the Lord, and for no
5. My Love, I will never look to divorce as an option, in our marriage, nor will I use it as a
6. I pledge myself to never use the withholding of sex, affection or fellowship for the purpose of blackmail or In other words, I will always be available to you, sexually and emotionally.
7. I pledge myself to daily pray for you, and to always act in your spiritual best interest.
8. I promise to always be listening for God to be speaking to me through you, and that when He does speak, to be submissive to His Voice.

9. promise never to intentionally do anything to harm or act destructively toward you: emotionally, physically, or spiritually.

10.  I will not ask you to compromise your conscience or the Bible, for my sake, nor will I compromise in this way, for you. But, let’s be willing for our convictions and hang-ups to change as God gives new insight, and as we see things more from His point of view.

11.1 will not judgmentally assume that something sexual is sinful, unless the Bible really, REALLY DOES teach against it, either by inference, example, or by direct statement. (For example, the Bible NEVER says, nor implies, that “You can not kiss her there!”)

12. I will acknowledge that God has created sex, and will honor Him in our marriage, by enJOYing it.

13.1 hereby totally give and commit myself and our marriage to the perfect will of God, to glori1~ Him, and obey Him in everything. I give to Jesus all that I am or ever will be, all that I have or ever will have.

14.1 am dedicated to serve you for love’s dear sake alone!

 

DEAR READER

 

Our experience in the ministry has overwhelmingly indicated that so many dear ones have need of being set Free - totally free from. guilt, condemnation, inhibition, etc. in their marriage/sexual relationship.

We hope that the truth of God’s Word wiU bring fresh insight and serve to enhance and enrich your marriage and sexual ministry to one another. As you read the next several pages, we would ask again that you let the Holy Spirit shine His light on your life.

Permit Him to gently expose any possible areas where you might be inhibited, intimidated, legalistic, or needing further help in understanding the sexual ministry to which you have been called.

When our hearts are open before the Lord, He always graciously leads us and guides us into all Truth - - - “and we shall know the Truth and the Truth shall set us free!” (John 8:32)

 

“DON’T PUBLISH THIS BOOK!”

A dear friend warned me not to publish this book, because he thought that the controversy raised over it would hurt “our” ministry. I believe that this is a major reason why so many of the dear ones have stayed ignorant and inhibited, because many ministries have feared to give people the counsel they so desperately need, because the ministries feared the cannibalistic criticism of people. Many ministries would be in jeopardy if they gave counsel to people that those people needed to have, but disagreed with because of their hang ups, legalism and criticism. In fact, as we have said before, please consider our book: The Cult Of Cannibals that deals with our ways of relating to each other.

Let me ask you this: Wouldn’t it stand to reason that to the extent that people have hang-ups in their attitude toward sex, (and we have concluded that over 90% of the Christian marriages in America have them), that those same people with these hang-ups would or could be angry with those who don’t, and with those who would try to share with them a better way? Jesus said, “I have many things to tell you, but you cannot bear it”. (John 16:12)

Most of the persecution that Christ suffered was at the hands of religious leaders who had their “circle” of behavior drawn smaller than God does: Jesus didn’t fast when they thought He should. He did other things they thought He shouldn’t He didn’t wash His hands the way they thought He should. Imagine, the creature and the creation telling the Creator how to create!

Another friend of mine suggested that I put the “juicy parts” in a separate “under-the-table4’ section, and/or make arrangements to counsel about these things privately. But the problem remains: This is precisely WHY the message has not gotten through -because the sexual information is UNDER the table, instead of on top of it! (Please understand, we are not forbidding sex either place - just don’t get hurt!)

Another suggestion, or idea was that we write this book anonymously. Hmmm, that’s an idea - - -.

Let me ask you a question. How can you and I, in God, declare war on this “90+% of hang-ups”, without having some of the dear ones who have them, declare war on us!!!???.

 

MY PROMISE TO YOU

I would like to make you a promise. You see, I don’t know all that there is to know about God or sex yet, but I promise to stay humbly open for God to teach me directly, from His Word, and also through you and others. Where He shows me that I am wrong, I promise to repent, and change, and be forgiven. We also make a pledge to you at the end of this chapter that we will be eager to learn from your rebukes or suggestions. Let’s determine ahead of time though, to be friends during this learning process!

We feel that, in spite of all of these considerations, that we must share what we know, in order for the dear ones to be set free from their bondages and unscriptural restraints. We must share about these matters of importance. Too many dear ones who are chained, want to be delivered from their unhealthy hang-ups and crippling inhibitions. As the Bible says in Romans 14:22b:

“Happy is he (or she) that condemns not himself in that thing which he (or she) allows)”. We also say “Happy are those who don’t feel the need to condemn others for that which God allows them to do!”

Will you make a promise to me? Would you be willing to not be too hard on us for our gentle attempt to bring fresh encouragement to you in your walk with each other, and in your walk with God?!!!

 

1.  MASTURBATION

“But I say unto you that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her bath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” Matthew 5:28.

I have a question? Is it possible to commit adultery with one’s own mate? Well, it would be adultery if, while with their spouse, they were thinking of someone else. Pastor Dodge here says, “This would not be adultery with spouse - would be adultery with other party they were thinking about. Adultery by definition excludes the possibility of committing adultery with marriage partner.”

But, is it possible to “lust” after one’s own mate? Some would say, “yes. We donut. But what if a husband or wife is lovingly thinking about their own spouse and thinking about them to the point of arousal? Is this sin? There is no law against this in the Bible that we have found, and we have read the Bible many times - - -.

You or anyone else would be wrong if you or they were to say that we consider masturbation to be right, correct, or justified; but you would also be incorrect if you were to say that we ALWAYS consider masturbation to be sinful. How would Titus 1:15

apply here: “To the pure, all things are pure.” The question is NOT, “Is masturbation wrong?”, but “WHEN is it wrong?” May we explain?

“LONG DISTANCE”

Suppose that a husband and wife love each other very much. They are totally loyal to one another.

They also love God wonderfully. But sometimes their respective responsibilities require them to be in different parts of the world at the same time. Let’s say that the husband is in Podunk, the wife in Timbuck.

They talk to one another on the telephone. In their love for each other they become passionate over the phone. Their thoughts and conversation become arousing to the point where they can picture themselves in passionate embrace with each other. They mutually agree to come to a climax at the same time, all the while concentrating on one another. Is this wrong? You decide. (Ro.14:22)

Let’s suppose that this same thing occurs, but this time through the mail. Is this valid? You decide. They have no conscience qualms. They each think of the other. They both experience release from unrelieved sexual tension. To some, this may sound like blasphemy, but now that they are no longer being distracted by their appetite, they can get on with the things at hand.

Let’s say that there is no phone call or letter, but that they are aware of each other in their thoughts; the wife, for her husband — the husband for his mate.

Either of them become aroused to the point of climax, all the while lovingly thinking of the other. Have they sinned?

We have some friends who were being prayed for by some people one time. The pray-ers started to pray against a “lustful spirit” in the wife of the couple when the husband spoke up and said, “Hey, don’t mess with that!” The lustful spirit here obviously was not “an inordinate sexual desire for others” but was a healthy sexual appreciation for her mate. He wanted that left alone.

What about a situation in which one spouse becomes physically incapacitated or handicapped, either temporarily or permanently and is “unable physically to be involved in ‘normal’ or typical intercourse activity?” Is masturbation in this case wrong, if the partner’s loving focus is on the other? Or what about a situation where the wife finds herself unable to climax during times of intercourse with her mate, but knows that she will be able to climax if she “helps herself’ by manipulating her clitoris.

Or what about a situation where the couple enjoys watching each other masturbate, as part of their sexual adventurings?

What if one of them has fallen asleep is totally exhausted, or really DOES have a headache, and the other is lying awake fighting the frustration of pent- up sexual desire. Would you recommended that they take cold showers for hours, or should they lovingly focus on their partner, scratch the “itch” and go to sleep?

ANOTHER OPINION

 

A pastor’s wife spoke up at this point and made some observations that we thought should be included, so as to share another perspective:

“As Christian; we are not limited here. Every “itch” doesn’t always have to be scratched We’re not to be slaves of - nor led by desires, impure, appetites or itches. But we have the availability of Almighty Yahweh to us. We have prayer, we have the Word we have worship, we have the Blood (of Jesus Christ). I used to eat whenever! was hungry ---. I was thirty pounds overweight God has delivered me from a runaway compulsiveness in that area. There is Victory and a release and freedom in overcoming as well as in ‘scratching the itch’~ I’m not saying this is wrong but! think we need to be cautious in presenting it as our only option other than cold shower& He (Jesus) is our Sufficiency in every area. The King’s Greatest Seem applies here too and the Lordship of Jesus Christ”

ONANISM

Some people think that the Bible talks about masturbation in Genesis. In fact, another word, (though wrongly coined), for masturbation is “onanism”, taken from Genesis 38 where a man named Onan was supposed to marry his sister-in-law if her husband died childless so that the inheritance line could be carried on, according to God’s law in the Old Testament. But when it came time for him to impregnate her, he interrupted the intercourse and ejaculated on the ground. So God killed him, not because of masturbation or coitus interruptis, but because of his refusal to bring forth a son for the sake of his brother’s lineage.

So, the statement is NOT, “Masturbation is wrong!” BUT, “Masturbation is wrong WHEN -- And it most certainly IS WRONG any time that the object of the person’s desire is not their marriage partner. Let’s not be guilty of drawing the circle either larger than God’s OR smaller! O.K.??!.

2.  ORAL SEX

Some people don’t know the difference between masturbation and mastication! In the three dictionaries I looked in, the first had neither word, the second only had masticate, and the third had both words only 9 words apart! I was asked to attend a conference of religious leaders recently, where some of them shared how they had passed a law among their members against oral sex. They were ACTUALLY wanting to pass a resolution in these meetings against the same! I’m not sure how the law read, but I think it went something like, “Behold I say unto thee, saith me, ‘In the privacy of your own home, OR your motel room, here at the conference, you gotta promise us illustrious leaders, that you ain’t gonna kiss your wife, here, here OR there!!!’ ‘ My response was, “Do you remember where the Bible says thou shalt not kiss her there!’?” They said, “No.” I said, “Do you get the point?”

There are still laws in some states that tell husbands where they can and cannot kiss their wife, even in the private see of their own locked bedroom. For that matter, there are some folks that THINK they can prove from the Bible that oral sex is wrong. Some one has said that there are more germs, on the average, in a person’s mouth, than there are on their genitals. But, in fact, we know of husbands who wash their hands BEFORE they urinate, because they don’t want to get germs from their unwashed hands on what they want to be kept the very CLEANEST part of their body!

 

THE SONG OF SONGS

We recommend this project: Go through the Song Of Solomon and keep pencil and paper handy. First, make a gingerbread drawing of a man and another of a woman. Then, as you go carefully through the Song, keep your geography straight. When it says, “Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth (or lacks) not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies.” Ch.7:5. Compare with Ch.6:3 “...he feedeth among the lilies.” Write down what represents what, keep track of what one does with what. Draw lines from that part of the anatomy represented, to the poetic description of it, and you will find for your marriage, a God given set of instructions for your bedroom, or where-ever!

Read the Song of Solomon in The Bible and keep track of words like “fruit”, and “lilies”, and “wine”, and “nectar”, and “flow”, and “fountain”, and “eat” and “drink”, etc., etc., etc. What is your reasoning?

That it some how makes sense that God in heaven has decreed that one can only kiss their spouse above the chin and below the shin??? Makes good sense to me, an’ I done boon to college! How ridiculous can we get?

 

3.  PORNOGRAPHY

Don’t worry, we’re not about to justify pornography. Yet, there are some questions that I want to ask you. Is the Bible being pornographic when it talks about intercourse, and men whose male organs are as big as donkeys and who have more sperm than horses, Ezekiel 23, etc., etc., etc.? Are your words or actions “pornographic”. when you speak to your spouse your intimate terms o~ passion during intercourse and petting, in language that is erotic, poetic or plain? Or don’t you have any woç4s or expression ~f passion during sex? Just because a person becomes a Christian, doesn’t mean that we have to give up our sexuality or our sanity.

Which of the following situations do you consider sinfully pornographic? 1. The picture of a nude person in an art gallery? 2. A medical journal? 3. A National Geographic? 4. A statue in the park? 5. A nude baby picture? 6. A memory of your naked spouse? 7. A polaroid or video of the two of you making love? (that only the two of you will see)?

8. A picture of …? 9. A hot and explicit personal love letter or phone call between you and your spouse? If any of these are judged to be pornographic, is all pornography wrong?

How are you to react when a co-worker suddenly displays a pornographic picture in front of your eyes and says, “Look at this!” Or if you are watching television movie that suddenly turns erotic? Have you sinned? How can God Himself see naked bodies and remain pure? We believe that that same God lives in you as your very life, if in fact, you have invited Him within as Lord arid Saviour and LIFE! We believe that Christ Himself can look out from within your eyes and respond with His righteous response.

 

THE PRINCIPLE OF SUBSTITUTION

Another key is that of Substitution where one puts the image and memory and thought of their spouse in the place of any pornographic content to which they have become exposed. If a thought of lust comes unbidden, one can simply direct one’s thoughts toward the Lord and toward one’s own spouse. “He that lusteth after a woman has committed adultery with her already” - This is clear. But if you channel the desire and “lust”, if you will, upon and toward your own spouse, then we believe, one has not sinned.

We know of one Christian couple who, though married for many years, still had not graduated from the kindergarten of sexual knowledge or skill. She had come from a religious background of restraint and had had no one to teach her about sexual things.

One night they decided to go to an X-rated movie. Each time anything explicit came on the screen, they related it to their own relationship, and not the persons on the screen. In their mounting desire, that desire and those thoughts were channeled in the direction of their own spouse. As they were aroused toward each other, the wife came to three climaxes during the movie, one on the way home, once again after they got home, and the husband was awakened the next morning by his wife’s fresh sexual aggressiveness. Her creativity, and spontaneity, and willingness, and skill, and appreciation, and love had graduated to new heights and dimensions undreamed of prior to that night. Now, please understand, we are NOT recommending that married couples go see X- rated movies or purchase X-rated material, but neither are we recommending that they stay in sexual kindergarten until they die. We believe that the ideal situation is, as we have mentioned previously, that God’s recipe or formula is to “Let the mature women train the less mature women how to love their husbands, and how to raise their children.” Titus 2:4. That is one of the purposes of these books - to teach others to teach others. If you would like more Scriptures in these regards, please, be respectfully referred to the reading all the way through of the whole Bible, which takes less than 70 hours, but specifically, one may read Romans 14; 15:1-7.

Once again, we repeat the important principle of substitution:

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT TO CHANNEL EVERY LUSTFUL OR EROTIC THOUGHT OR SITUATION TOWARDS ONE’S OWN SPQUSE.

For example, if a husband happens to see a sexy looking creature at the office or the beach or where ever, he should direct his thoughts to his own mate and their happy times of sexual adventuring together. He must NEVER NEVER NEVER allow himself to think, “Hmmm, I wonder what she, (the stranger,) would be like in bed.” He must take his thoughts firmly in mind and direct them upon his own spouse. The same thing, of course, goes for the wife toward her husband.

 

A DISTRACTION REVERSED EQUALS A REMINDER

 

One has said, “You cannot stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop it from building a nest in your hair.” There is a difference between temptation and sin. “Jesus was tempted in all points as we are, yet without sin.” (Hebrews 4:15) Nor must we sin either. We must, as soon as the lustful thought comes unbidden, to immediately channel ourthoughts upon our spouse, or upon the  Lord in praise. “There has no temptation taken you but such as is common to man, but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tested above what you are able, but will with the temptation, make a way of escape, that you will be able to bear it.” I Corinthians 10:13.

TEMPTATION

How can we impress deeply enough that, because of the greatness of the Power of Christ, we do not have to sin in sexual matters or in any other matter. God is simply that great. And God can be that great -in you!!!

You may be one of those who find it difficult to keep from committing mental adultery, or literal adultery. We intend to offer some practical suggestions, but it becomes necessary to first get two things straight: 1. God HAS provided a way for you to keep from sinning, and it is your choice to take that “way of escape” that God talks about in I Corinthians 10 quoted above.

The following outline includes some suggestions that Pastors Chuck and Judy Dodge have to offer:

 

WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?

1. SEEK THE FATHER’S The Bible says that, “in the days of His flesh, Jesus Sought The Father’s Face with strong crying and tears.” (Hebrews 5:7) In Hebrews 4:15 & 16 the Bible says that Jesus was tempted “in all points, just as we are, yet He did not sin” and that we need to “draw near to the Throne of Grace, that we may find help in the time of need.”

1. Call Upon the Name of the Lord Jesus Christ (Acts 2).
2. Look For The “Way of Escape” (I 10:13).

16. Jesus Rebuked the We can actually say, “The Lord Jesus Christ rebukes you, satan!!!”
17. With Peter: Jesus said, “Get behind Me, Satan.” Mt. 16.
18. With the devil, Jesus said, “It is written:”

• Jesus Commissioned Us To Take The Authority Over satan
  1. Jesus commanded us to bind and to loose (Mt. 18:18).
  2. Jesus commanded us to “cast down van imaginations (II Corinthians 10:3-5)

The Bible says that THE WEAPONS OF OUR (spiritual) WARFARE are not carnal, but ARE MIGHTY THROUGH GOD FOR THE TEARING DOWN OF strongholds.”

We close this particular section with a presentation of the idea of winning over the enemy by means of: PREVENTION OF SIN BY THE “DISPLACEMENT METHOD” (OR “CROWDING IT OUT”)

1. KNOW AND QUOTE As Jesus did with the enemy, He crowded out the temptation, by quoting the Word of God.

2. WORSHIP- “Rejoice evermore, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you!” I

Thes.5:16-18.

3. PRAYER - “Call upon the Name of Yahweh (God), and you SHALL BE SAVED!” (Acts 2)
4. CHANGE DIRECTIONS! The word “repent” means “turn around and gO the other way - the right way!” The Bible also says, “flee youthful lusts” (II Timothy 2).

CONCLUSION: “There has no temptation taken you but such as is common to man, but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tested above what you are able, but will with the temptation, make a way of escape, that you will be able to bear it.” I Corinthians 10:13. No licentiousness or illegitimate liberty, and no legalism or illegitimate restraint or hang-ups or condemnation!

 

BIRTH CONTROL

“And woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days!” said Jesus in Matthew 24. Now, you may pretend that these words do not apply to the prospective parents of today, but pretending will not change the truth! God holds us responsible to look to Him for His permission and blessing and His “fight-on” confirmed reassurance that it is the proper time to have each child. Prayer should be made by the parents together, that God will bring just exactly the right combination of genes and cells together by His choosing and anointing. The parents should get the clear leading of the Heavenly Father as to the time they should get pregnant, etc. All of this, of course, requires that the parents deliberately refrain from having a baby until God’s permission and direction can be obtained.

Jesus said, “I can do nothing of Myself, independently, of My own accord, but as The Voice comes to Me, so I give the decision --- “John 5:30. This should be our mentality also -that we will do nothing until or unless God LEADS us to. I believe that no one should have a baby without a clear-cut leading from the Lord, and NOT leave the having of a baby to happenstance, chance, or circumstance.

In I Corinthians 14, God tells us that “The spirit of the prophets is subject to the prophets.” In other words, we must be in control, under the control of the Holy Spirit, and never have the irresponsible attitude, “We just couldn’t help ourselves.”

 

OUR PREFERENCE

We believe that most couples prefer the use of the diaphragm coupled WITH the use of foam AND gel, and we personally prefer this method above all others, unless a couple is absolutely certain that they are “past the baby having stage”, at which time, and in which case, we recommend that with apostolic confirmation, the woman can very simply have her tubes tied; but we encourage each couple to be familiar with the other methods, as well. We are not personally convinced that the pill or the “IUD” is entirely safe, nor that condoms are entirely reliable. (One of the things that the public is not being told in most of the aids reporting, is one report we heard, that condoms break in about 50% of the time during anal intercourse. For that matter, we suspect that there are many things about aids that we are not being told, and that aids and the incurable herpes simplex 2 are far more easily passed on than has been reported.)

Rather than take up space here, or try to “practice medicine without a license” however, we really encourage you that if you are not familiar with the various methods of birth control, that you see a reputable doctor who can fully explain all of these things.

 

5.  PREMATURE EJACULATION

Here is one serious problem that often has a simple solution, but because of people’s hang-ups, the simple solutions often are not attained. Although your doctor probably has some good suggestions, and there are many good books on the subject of sex in general and this problem in particular, here are a couple of suggestions that you may find helpful.

One reason why some men ejaculate quickly, is because they have not had sex for a while, and because of their pent up desires, the climax comes too quickly. One solution for this is, of course, to have sex more often. Another solution would be for the man either to have he or his wife bring him to a climax earlier, so that the second, or third climax can be more relaxed, controlled, paced and leisurely; Another thing to keep in mind, is - just because either the husband or wife has already had a climax, or for what ever reason is unable to experience one, does NOT mean that they need to stop ministering sexually to the other person. Under most conditions, either one or both should be able to attain another climax within a relatively short period of time. And if the husband was not able to maintain an erection, he can continue to stimulate his wife with other parts of his body, head to toe, (unless, of course, he is paralyzed).

EXPLORE AND ADVENTURE

We believe that nothing is forbidden in the sexual relationship, unless God and/or the Bible teach against it either by inference, example. or by a direct statement; or, unless it is emotionally, spiritually or physically harmful to either one in any way. By inference, we refer to all of the Scriptures for example, that talk about the .fruit of the Spirit, or relating to each other in kindness and love and deeeeeeep consideration! “The law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus, has set me free from the law of sin and death!!!” Rom.8!

Otherwise, the Commission is clear,. “God has given us all things richly to enjoy”, and “To the pure, all things are pure”, and “All things are lawful”, and “happy is the man that condemneth not himself in that which he alloweth...” (I Tim.6:17; Titus 1:15; I Cor.6:12; 10:23; Ro.14:22).

We want you to be encouraged to read many of the books that are on the market in this area of marriage and the sexual ministry, and we lovingly commend you to the wonderful adventure of learning new things that will enhance your sexual ministry to each other!

KEEP IT SIMPLE

Just simply keep in mind the following very clear Scriptural Guidelines:

1. Do NOT have sex with anyone you are not married to, mentally or otherwise! The Bible, both Old and New Testaments are very clear about
2. Love each other fervently from a pure heart! Our gentle Jesus want us to be kind to each other, and tenderhearted, etc.
3. Enjoy! Let’s enjoy God and be led wonderfully by Him!!!

4-------- That’s all we can think of!!!)

The Apostle Paul talked about legalistic people in the Church that want to make it complicated, religious and legalistic. His message to these is very plain. He recommended that the legalistic people who bad religious hang-ups and who wanted to foist their hang ups on others, insisting on cutting off the foreskin, etc., would go all the way on themselves and cut their whole organ off!!!” Gal.5: 12. The NAS Bible says. “Would that those who are troubling you would even mutilate themselves.” (margin says, “cut themselves off”). Beck’s Bible says, “Castrate themselves”. That’s what God thinks about religious legalism! He wants us to cut it out!

 

LET’S AGREE WITH GOD!

God grant that we agree with Him, in not drawing the circle of morality legalistically tighter than, or licentiously looser than, or spastically other than, but exactly AS God does - for ourselves - and for others.

Father God Precious Yahweh, I repent for two things: Father. I repent for every time I have ever drawn the circle looser than You have. 1 repent for every time! refused to control my own thoughts and for every time! allowed myself to commit adultery with my mind Secondly, I repent for every time that! have drawn the circle tighter than You intended me to, in allowing my self to exist under a godless condemnation, and for every time I tried to judge or put others under condemnation, because of my hang ups. Father God please on the one hand take away all of my wrong ideas about sex but also please let us be able to confidently count on Your Holy Spirit acting as an un-condemning but reliable Umpire to gently let us know when we do displease You. Let my mind and my life please Thee at all times, and in every thing in Jesus’ Name~ Amen

Dear Ones, let me make a gentle and loving observation and a request: There may be some things in what we have shared that you may disagree with. In the first place, you do not have to agree with us. Let us be friends anyway. We don’t have to agree on these points in order for us to stay friends. If we have hurt your finer sensibilities, we humbly apologize, for we do not know very much of all there is to know about God, marriage, or sex, yet. But isn’t it great fun to learn new things, to adventure, to explore?!. If you know more than we do, in some particular area, or have greater insight, please feel free to let us know. We invite the Lord Jesus Christ to teach us through you. And, if you believe that we need to change our thinking or that we need to be rebuked in some particular matter or matters, please feel free to scold us or rebuke us. We promise to take your suggestions to the Lord.

 

REVIEW QUESTIONS - CHAPTER 10

 

1. What is the difference between “conviction” and “condemnation”?
2. Describe the three circles we discussed that illustrate the difference between license, legalism and the will of God.
3. Do you believe that sex is sinful?

4. Do you believe that having sex either upon or beneath the kitchen table is sinful?
5. What does Titus 1:15 say?
6. Define the word “Fornication”.

7. How is the word “fornication” used as an excuse by some, to cover their own form of naughtiness.
8. Do you believe that it is possible to keep from committing mental adultery, according to that verse, “If a man looks upon a woman...”?
9. Do you believe that it is possible to keep from sinning?

10. Do you believe that masturbation is always wrong?
11. Other than the sin of fantasizing about someone else, do you believe that it is possible to commit adultery with one’s own spouse in the Matthew 5:28 sense?

12. What is the sin of Onan or onanism spoken of in the Bible?
13. Is there any place in the Bible that says, “You must not kiss your spouse there.”?
14. Do you believe that each couple is responsible to obtain leading, direction and permission from the Lord as to the timing of each of their children’s births?

15. Do you have a tendency to draw the circle of your morality tighter than, looser than, other than or

just as, God does? For yourself? For others?

16. Explain what we mean by “The principle of substitution”.